Bury yourself in an African elephant box!

Customise your coffinI suppose it all depends on your point of view.  If you you’re the kind of person who worries about where their earthly remains are kept after you no longer inhabit them, I suppose you might like to choose whether to have clouds or zebra print on your coffin (wood or 100% recycled cardboard, gold or rope handles).

Our local funeral directors are offering the services of www.colourfulcoffins.com. I highly recommend the section of the site that gives examples of bespoke designs.

They do look quite nice, I grant you, but it’s not exactly a long-term investment in beauty, is it (particularly if you’re ordering one for a cremation)? Why spend £99 designing a box for your rotting corpse, when your heirs could be spending it on their mortgage or their children’s school uniforms or something? And who exactly sits down and designs their own coffin, anyway? What’s even more ridiculous is that some people seem to have ordered plain black or white ones. Did the colourful part of the company’s name just pass them by?

Perhaps the religious types think they’ll be greeted at the pearly gates more enthusiastically if they come complete with a rosary-decorated box?

Okay, I’m fine with the recycled cardboard ones. Much more sensible in a world where we produce too many people and they still take up space when they die. Even less point putting pictures on it, though.  Why bother with a coffin at all?

If I were pressed, though, I’d have to go for a design everyone else seems to have missed – soil and worms. At least it would fit in.

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One thought on “Bury yourself in an African elephant box!

  1. Exceedingly well-written post. I’d worry about the company not being in business when I pop the proverbial clogs. Perhaps along with life insurance it’s possible to take out coffin insurance?

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